The Woman who stole my life and what we can learn by comparing ourselves to others

I was happily sitting in the sun outside my favourite local coffee shop. I could stop right there and that alone would tell you how I was fully relaxed and enjoying the moment.

A female came rushing across and sat down at the table in front and to the left of me   - firmly in my line of sight. Midlife I would say. Possibly mid-fifties like myself.

It was the way she was dressed that grabbed my attention; totally appropriate for all considerations: age, shape, height, location, time of year and so forth. But more so.

Her coat had a fancy embellishment down the front and on the pockets that upgraded it from being just a standard black wool version; clumpy boots that her daughter might covert but didn’t look out of place; a leather bag – a burgundy leather bag in an unusual shape that implied a) it was good quality b) it’s owner had her own unique sense of style. And the dress. Mid length but nothing remotely matronly about it. Dark hair tied back into a neat ponytail – in a groomed rather than a careless fashion. Make up - subtle, current, enhancing.

Yes, I inwardly admired ALL the above and silently cheered on my fellow midlife female. But I also felt a stab of jealousy. And a coming up short on my part. Because it doesn’t matter what one wears to a local coffee shop midweek does it? Except it obviously did to me in that moment. It was a reminder of how I used to be and how I could look now - despite age, weight gain and the other barriers I chose to put in my own way.

Have you experienced anything similar? And if you have – did that person resemble you in some way? I am guessing they did. Because this seems to be how it works. It is like they represent the woman we want to be - but they got there first. And then we start to imagine other aspects of their life that are of course perfect and exactly what we would want too: relationship, home, career, finances….

I managed to consider all of the things that I would have liked, and once upon a time believed I would have, but this fabulous creature had got them instead of me. There sat in front of me the Woman who stole my life. 

So what are the learnings to be taken from this:

It was either showing me a way of being that I chose not to go for in favour of something better suited to me

OR

It was showing me what I would like now that I can take steps towards to creating if I am serious - because everything I had imagined IS possible 

OR

I was feeling sore because somewhere along the way I had told myself that it was TOO much to ask for, might make others feel bad and I just didn’t deserve it

And 

It also highlighted why we should never stop being grateful for what we do have …because everyone is navigating their own challenges and of course no one’s life is ever perfect.

It so happened that I was out with a friend when we bumped into this same female. They happened to know each other and proceeded to chat about what was going on for them currently - and yes, you’ve already guessed it, turns out it isn’t all rosy and she is indeed facing her own difficult set of circumstances. Because this is the reality of life isn’t it? 

This is more reason to live fully, fearlessly and authentically – not only for us but to inspire others to do the same.

And if you should need a little help with this…. then contact me now and let’s talk further