You have such a lovely life Katherine Brown
Savoy Theatre ….. Dream Girls or maybe Funny Girl? can’t quite remember which
Satisfied and a bit tipsy after prosecco and tapas ……
a celebration of another year around the Sun for a dear friend
I casually “check myself in” on facebook adding some superlatives around “best day ever” or some such cliche
a comment:
YOU HAVE SUCH A LOVELY LIFE KATHERINE BROWN
ouch!
that was such a well meaning statement but it triggered a raft of unwelcome feelings
Who was I to be gadding around London?
How extravagant and self indulgent
How WRONG for someone like me to be doing this
and if ONLY they knew how I was feeling at that precise moment ……
full anxiety, fear, dread, shame, guilt, exhaustion ….. all the big hitters
I had stepped away from a secure job to go after my dream of setting up a female coaching business … not unlike this one
I had got everything in place, done my research, written the plan, engaged the mentor, it was well thought through
In my job I was so organised, efficient, productive, motivated, driven … you get the picture here
but going it alone, turns out I was a whole different “me”
Frozen, indecisive, zero confidence, unable to focus and living in constant fear about the state of my finances
so it might be a little surprising that I was constantly enjoy trips to the theatre, festivals, concerts….
because enjoying life was not allowed? or was it?
and it must be said that I wasn’t putting myself in debt or unable to pay the rent
but it is interesting that we apply an “upper limit” to what we perceive we are worthy of
in all areas of our lives
a hang over from childhood…. as with most things
subtle messages we take to be truth
and so this innocent comment on facebook triggered that trapped message
took me right back to feeling bad, like I had too much therefore denying someone else
Do you do this too?
stop yourself from going all out for the things you want because they feel “too much”?
do we associate more with hard work and suffering than freedom and pleasure?
this is a huge “issue” that I tackle with my clients
If I could grant you 3 wishes, just for you and no one else, would you even dare to consider what they may be?
would it feel wrong somehow to be focusing just on you?
or would you know but not feel able to share because they feel ridiculous or impossible?
or maybe………
it is because outwardly we can be seen to have “ a lovely life”
and we really are grateful for it
but we are hiding an inner anxiety, discontent, feeling out of control or just unfulfilled
there seem to be 2 options here:
drown out or stuff down those unwelcome thoughts and feelings
take the time to explore what is going on for you without making it wrong
and if you don’t know where to start - downloading my free guide is a good a place as any
or book yourself in for a 30 minute no obligation clarity call
Would love to hear your thoughts around this